Writers’ Jokes: Writers Living it up!
So, who told you that writers don’t have fun or make fun of themselves? That person is wrong! Writers do have fun! They make fun of their art. They jest fellow writers, and they laugh at adjectives. We have compiled 36 writing and writer-quotes, just to prove that writers do live it up. Want to see writers living it up? Enjoy these 30+ writers’ jokes compiled by Editor Kasim, Shalom. Have fun while at it!
- From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
– Winston Churchill
- I get a lot of letters from people. They say: “I want to be a writer. What should I do?” I tell them to stop writing to me and get on with it.
– Ruth Rendell
- If Moses were alive today he’d come down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and spend the next five years trying to get them published.
- The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
– Stephen King
- Writers don’t have lifestyles. They sit in little rooms and write.
– Norman Mailer
- Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.
– Gene Fowler
- If you can’t annoy somebody, there’s little point in writing.
– Kingsley Amis
- Writing is so difficult that I often feel that writers, having had their hell on earth, will escape all punishment hereafter.
– Jessamyn West
- I was sorry to hear my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself.
– Mark Twain
- The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.
– Tom Waits
- An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.
– Franklin P. Jones
- Long, hard slog today writing the Great American Tweet.
(That was it…what do you think? Pulitzer?)
– Greg Tamblyn
- A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn’t allow it to spoil your lunch.
– Kingsley Amis
- Unless a reviewer has the courage to give you unqualified praise, I say ignore the bastard.
– John Steinbeck
- Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.
– Christopher Hampton
- The only time I’ll get good reviews is if I kill myself.
– Edward Albee
- As far as I’m concerned, “whom” is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
– Calvin Trillin
- Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up.
– Ernest Hemingway
- An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
– Quentin Crisp
- Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
– Groucho Marx
- Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
– Fran Lebowitz
- Revising a story down to the bare essentials is always a little like murdering children, but it must be done.
– Stephen King
- Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them. There’s many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
– Flannery O’Connor
- It’s splendid to be a great writer, to put men into the frying pan of your imagination and make them pop like chestnuts.
– Gustave Flaubert
- Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.
– Paulo Coelho
- All literature is gossip.
– Truman Capote
- Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.
– Dr. Samuel Johnson, to an aspiring writer
- I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
– A. J. Liebling
- There’s not much to be said about the period except that most writers don’t reach it soon enough.
– William Zinsser
- It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
– Robert Benchley
- When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am a grownup they call me a writer.
– Isaac Bashevis Singer
- Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Don’t use no double negatives. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
– William Safire
- Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”
– Mark Twain
- Did you hear about the little boy who ended a sentence with 5 prepositions? He said, “What are you bringing that book that I don’t want to be read to out of up for?” – Anonymous
- Let me see if I can put it in words that even the inebriated might understand.
– Tom Robbins
- He does not so much split his infinitives as disembowel them.
– Rebecca West
I am a writer. If I seem cold, it ‘s because I am surrounded by drafts.
– (Unknown Author)
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